Important. Not!

What's really important? I recently had a chat with a friend and the conversation took an interesting twist. We agreed that in life the things you think are important and you stress over eventually turn out to have been for naught. Worrying and anxiously fretting about things we later wonder why we even bothered to think or stress over. What you think is important now is usually not what is really important later. I'm saying we sometimes get too focused on things and lose the real things. In life the best thing is love but we will focus on everything but it. Forgetting to take time for ourselves or to spend time with others. Instead we focus on what the person we spent time with wore and how embarrassed we felt being with them instead of focusing on the time we were able to spend together. Some people get a reality check as to what's really important when that person or other people around them die. Sometimes it takes a near death experience but all the same one needs to snap out of it. Either way we need to remember that life is what you make it. If your focus is on stuff that doesn't matter than you're living a life without substance. Unless you're a manikin I don't think this is a healthy way to live. Plug in to life and what it really has to offer you. You might just discover there's more to life than superficial exsistantce. Plus it's fun!

Clear Mind

Don't deny yourself the truth. Running from a solution will never lead you to the solution. Though honestly putting things in a prioritized manner will rid you of chaos and bring you towards an orderly solution. When you look at a pile of unsorted laundry most people don't jump for joy they typically dread or procrastinate the sorting of it. Though it is much easier to do laundry after the laundry is sorted. When you move into a new place, if your things are pre-sorted putting them away and setting up requires less work. Sort the problems and issues in your life so the truth can be easily picked out of the pile. Thereby rendering you free of chaos. Happy sorting!

Knowing what you want.

I once believed that ignorance is bliss and even attempted to live life as an adult with this idea. The thing with not knowing is you leave yourself blindsided. The one thing that is certain in life is there are options, choices, and decisions to be made. Knowing what you want provides you with a road map.---At this point someone is saying I know what I want but I still don't know which choice(s) is best for me. I respond to this with a resounding no you don't know with a definitive action plan what it is you want. Yes I've been you but with kicking, screaming, and even blatant refusal I claimed to know what I want but struggled with decision making. Why? In my case it was fear of failure what's your excuse? If you know what you want and are certain of it there are actions you will take and a road map in which you will follow. These actions or map(s) you will create or have adapted from someone else (A trail blazer you admire or believe had the right idea). When you decide to go from home (wherever that is) to the grocery store, school, work, a restaurant, your parents house or just somewhere you go often, you either use a map someone else supplies (GPS, Google maps, or another person provides) or you mentally road map your destination. The point I'm making is that when you decide to go somewhere you make a plan mentally or given. So if you know what you want in life why not make a plan or use one you trust. If you're going somewhere you've never been to ensure you get there and in a timely manner you check your map whether mentally or against an existing map (fps, actual map, or MapQuest). Why not do the same with your life road map(s). This will ensure you get where you want to be and in a timely fashion. (Either for short term goals, long term goals, or just one for the whole journey- you decided, but make sure to decide.) Now imagine teaching this to a child and having them do this from the earliest moments of life.
 Order---->the key to a well lived life.
 As much as I believe in being spontaneous I've truly come to see the power of accomplished order (After 30 years of fighting against).

Kisses

Oh those sweet silver foil rapped morsels of sweetness. Do you feel that sometimes to get to the good stuff- the kiss- you need to get rid of the foil. There is always something that preceeds a grand finally. A process of sorts that takes place before you get the reward.  The things is we naturally just want the reward no work, no precursor  nothing but net all the time every time. Even the basket ball star who is always on point had several un-noted not on point moments to get there. I think that if we psych ourselves enough with the thought of the impending sweet reward the difficult times can be more bearable. Though the work may be hard the reward is sweet. 

For the love

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.'- Alfred, Lord Tennyson This is never an easy thing for the person who has just lost ( either in death or their choosing to end a relationship) the loved one.  If the loss was to death it can never physically be undone but it never keeps the person from trying to recover that love. Something people will try to do if they are still alive. The truth really is if you love someone you should be able to let them go. The saying dose say if they return then they are yours but what if they go and come back about three times.  I say let them go. Holding on or keeping people doesn't guarantee you have them or makes them stay, it just makes you miserable and leaves you feeling helpless. Trust that you have value and know it well enough to not allow their leaving to diminish you. You didn't leave. You should always remember that as long as you are being the best you can be that's all anyone can ask of you. Knowing that if they stayed when they shouldn't have it wouldn't keep the love it would bread something even you wouldn't recognize and would probably regret in the end. Letting things run natural courses and focusing where you should will help to soften the blow. The good memories are what it was all about, love. 

People.....are...will be....are capable of.....can be

People are, will be, are capable of, and can be many things. What is the thing or things that you are, will be, are capable of, and can be. There is always the desire to be something. Something is your mind's visual view of what you are wishing for yourself. In a world where people are realizing that job satisfaction more and more doesn't come from a 9-5.  More and more people find satisfaction in unorthodox avenues. Often realizing that they can make their mind's visual image into a livable reality.  Sometimes you still want a job at a 9-5 but not your mom and dad's company but at a flexible start time, more vacation time, work hours that don't often add up to 8hr but pay the same. All these began as ideas. Ideas are the birth of and are the solution to transitioning from visual to reality.

Breathe

Sometimes we hold things so close there's no room for air. This is unhealthy for the simple fact that when things don't go the way you want or imagined, the pain has no room but to hit you directly. In Chicago there were many major fires that wiped out large sections of the city. How did they finally get the fires to stop. They required buildings to have space between each other. When you hold on tightly to things there's no room for give and take. Suspension bridges were once built with the most sturdy and rigid materials man could make but they found that these bridges would still give way under real stress. Then some guy came up with the rubber band theory or idea.  This in simple terms is the idea of give and take, Aka room. Giving room to the materials of the bridge to stretch and move as they needed made the bridge sturdier. I once  read a book called, Nectar In A Sieve and the major point of the story was this line, 'bend so you don't break'.  

Patience, please.

If we treat others the way we would like to be treated this is still not a gurentee that they will do the same.  It is however simply so you don't become the bad guy.  Think about it. There is always someone around who is difficult to work with and has you watching what falls out your mouth in their presence.  This might be hard to  concieve but sometimes that person who others need to be patient with is you. Foot on the other shoe what is the start to healthy relating it's simply being patient.  We want what we want when we want it. Yes but is this a guarantee that we must hold the world hostage to.  Unless you are always intending to be a spoiled brat to everyone or a pouting baby you really need to deal with this expectation. Often the reality of the situation in which you find yourself will not accommodate such desires as you have in your mind.  Remember your mind is your mind and not the world you live in.  Yes dream but make sure to give room and time to letting the two come together in the ways they can realistically merge. Be patient with what you want so that there can be room for what someone else wants.  It just might be you who's wanting and needing someone else to be patient with you.

Tempt me....... : )

Sweet temptation.  I have a seriously sweet tooth the kind that has me at "hello".  I'm learning to let my money work for me and not the other way around. This means curbing my temptation splurges.  In my case they're all sugar based.
What's got you so tempted it dents your cash- aka-guilty pleasure.  Guilty pleasures usually come with justifying excuses.  They aren't called guilty pleasures just cause.  The tempting allure and the promise of a temporary satisfaction which keeps beckoning to you till you give in to it.  This would be fine if even you didn't know it was a problem.  Why, ask yourself, do you hold back or feel guilty when you say yes to such tempting treats?  The answer you usually find reminds you that you are struggling with control over this aspect of life. No one wants to be a control freak but lets face it neither do we want to be controlled.  My father always say, 'too much of anthing in bad for you'.  He even took it further to explain that too much or too little is also problematic  but just enough or the right amount, 'do all things in moderation'.  So find the happy medium in your pleasure. Make sure your pleasure is first and foremost a healthy dose of fleeting pleasure which doesn't ultimately deprive you of true and lasting pleasures.

Treat me with___________________________

The old adage goes, 'treat others the way you want to be treated'.    Can't stand a co-worker, family member, or someone you used to feel close to there is always a better solution to the situation than treating them like dirt. The truest thing in all this is that being treated badly only leaves a bad taste for all involved.  You're irritated and they're agitated all which won't lead to a happy ever after or resolution.  The reason movies more commonly end with resolved endings (A.K.A. Happy Endings) is it's the preferred option.  Knowing this also reminds us that there is no fun in hating or disliking people in fact it's more often taxing (takes up way too much time and energy).  So how do you resolve what probably took years, months, weeks, or even days to build to what it became.  As addicts of quick fixes let me assure you that the quick fix is not permanent but the long road is.  After all it took time to get where you are now expect that it will take some more time and effort to leave either worse off or better off. The ultimate choice of how ones life stays or becomes is whose? Yours of course! You chose to forgive, eat your words, not be irritated, view things differently, not let it be all about you, you can change you and you alone.  Never get too busy motivating, convincing, manipulating, wishing, insinuating, envisioning, hoping, wanting, intending for someone else to change, be different, act differently, understand, or be understanding. Instead use your energy wisely, use it on you.  Learn what it is about this person that you really have a problem with and why. Then take a mirror to yourself.  Realize what part you play in all of this (If you can't admit your fault honestly don't bother yourself , just keep hating them and the situation.). Then attempt to make a change cause obviously one is needed and since you are the only being you have full control of, make your change count for something.

(facebook) Miete's-Tears-of-Joy

Wishing.

The thing with wishing is what happens when the wish comes true.  The thing is it's the greatest thing to want something but are you also preparing for the actuality of getting what you want.  A dream is only that if you don't get it into your system, mind, and way of thinking as well as doing.  If you want something prepare for it get everything ready for the realization of your wish, cause dreams and wishes do come true.  Would you want your wish to come true and not even be able to enjoy it cause it became an awkward thing that was actually happening   Something you were excited about but still couldn't enjoy cause it made you anxious just thinking about the realization of it. Prepare for your wishes so they do come true smoothly and cause if you thought them up then they should be.  If a wish is really worth wishing for then be prepared for it.Miete's-Tears-of-Joy(facebook)

Oh I screamed!

I screamed til I could scream no more and then I screamed some more.  I screamed even more for lack of an even better response.  Then I began to scream for good measure. Since the best cure for real terror combined with fear seemed to be none other than screaming.  I did just that I screamed some more.  What was the reason for all that screaming you ask?  It was simply my response to these roller coaster rides at Six Flags: Scream, the old wooden-last of it's kind, and Bizzaro.  Now two of the mentioned coasters are no joke coasters.  The first, Scream, is aptly named in that that is what you will do for the majority of the20 and a half floors of free falling at a speed of 55mph(89km/h) the ride takes you through.  After you so calmly climbed the height and were given ample time to sight see the surrounding landscape.  Bizzaro also rightly named for it's scream producing combination of drops of 221 feet(67.36meters) worth, climbs, and full turn overs at a sharp speed of 77mph(123km/h).  I learned that I can scream and scream some more.  No that's not all.  I know that more movies and Dr's are touting the idea of letting out your frustrations by screaming.  Though I have attempted this idea in the past with mere yelps, I'll refer to them as, they did produce some sort of relief.  I have to say that this new level of screaming came with a side effect I couldn't have predicted.   PEACE!  Yes after all that screaming it appears I screamed away the stress of my frustrations, angers, disappointments, and things I was nervous about.  Who knew screaming had perks.  Now I'm not saying go get screaming without a cause but just making an observation.  It appears that being willing to let go of one's self long enough to react completely can be beneficial.  I will however put a disclaimer-This statement dose not apply to all situations.  It dose however encourage that when frustrated, angry, or anxious seek a safe and healthy realease.

My Awe struck list

The things that leave a mark are the ones that brought a bruise that lead to the mark. The things that end up on an awe struck list are things that amazed even you.  From time to time we jump hurdles or overcome struggles that even we have to look back and appreciate.  The Awe struck list is simply a metaphor for the beautiful stone you become after going through the struggles of life.  They are personal moments where even you had to admit that you're made of stronger stuff than you think.  Struggles aren't always clean and clear cut nor are they always good or bad but if anything they are always a test to one's character.  They shape mold and smooth out the rough edges till you become that smooth rock much like the ones found at the water's edge.  There you'll also find jagged edged rocks still going through the process.  Some rocks smooth faster than others and some dissolve into nothing.  Don't judge your awe struck list based on other peoples criteria or lives. For we are all pieces of a puzzle fitting together to make the whole picture.  Remember if your piece looked like another then there would be a space missing a piece and a unnecessary piece without a space. Let your list scream you and the reality of your awesome moments.  There is no harm in enjoying or marveling at what others have accomplished but you should remember that they are but examples of what you can do in your way in your situation in your life and most importantly in your ability to be you.

I'm Livid!!!

Family! In writing this piece I've deleted it twice now. Why? Simply that this is a positive forum.  I love my family but I know that people will be people.  I also understand the value and importance of forgiveness.  Something I took to a whole new level this past week.  To forgive people who share the same gene pool or are just near and dear to you proves that you are strong.  With such strength we are better able to understand the simple beauty of life. Being free of the weights we carry unnecessarily.

I wrote the wrong things, they needed deleting, and I simply erased them.  Words and actions unfortunately don't have a delete button but since we are not perfect we have to give each other that flexibility. That flexibility is forgiveness.  Forgiveness is deleting that wrong done to you so that your piece or movement can run or read smoothly.  It's the grease that makes the engine of our lives run smoothly.

If you still struggle with the idea of letting go of the wrong try this; holding dead weight gets heavy. We carry enough emotional dead weight to not have enough room to hold others in addition to ours. Don't see it as dead weight, then know that there is this thought that irritates you and steals your joy when it peeps it's ugly head. Know that you are the enabler of the thief and the accomplice gets charges in a court of law-lol.

Don't touch me!

I've been touched so much you don't know who touched my arm last.  So many finger prints they've become a new original one.  It's not like I can just wash it all off.  Cause the memories are still with me.  With time though I'm believing it will fade or I'll just get used to it.  Before I know it, it'll be my norm.  Then there will be nothing wrong with having so many people leave a mark on me.  Soon you might not even recognize me with these strange prints that have become their own original print.  I'll be different some how.  Affected by what they've left in my memory.  I might even think differently or talk differently.  My walk might even be different.  Who knows I might even have different memories, my own interpretation of the touch. We touch and are touched daily by people, make your touch count by leaving a positive impression.

Stand Alone

For those of you who read the title and thought- why that's the best way.  Shame on you, FOR NO MAN IS AN ISLAND.  This world is full of all kinds of people with all kinds of notions.  If a nation needed to be founded  that did it's human best to give freedom to all kinds of people, then what right dose any man have to have power over any man.  Why do we not all have the right to freedom or at least respect.  I watched a movie recently called 'North' directed by Rob Reiner.  In it the main character's teacher wins a car for his essay on how to solve world peace.  His essay was four words long, it read: Humanity+ Dignity+ Compassion= Peace.  Don't be afraid to stand for what is right even if it means you stand alone. 

My life is going as planned It's on track.

Do you ever look at your life and think is this how everything is meant to be.  That even the mistakes are really meant to happen that way too.  That everything is perfectly on time and as it was meant, intended to be.  I think sometimes we focus too much on what our lives should look like.  The truth is we really don't know we just have feelings and inclinations that hint at things or directions.  Though nothing is set in stone and things may or may not be changeable.  I think I realized  that whether we can or can't change our paths in life, we can and do make choices.  So if we promise ourselves to just make sure to try for the best choice that that is all we really can hope for.  For the ability to predict an outcome will never be totally up to anyone person.  Though what always will be in your power is the ability to make a good or the best possible choice.  Chose wisely! LOL!

Part of loving Someone is your willingness to let them in.

Like an egg has separate parts that are all individually walled off from each other so can our ability to love be.  The only problem is true love is not built up of walls so delicately separated.  I know that love is patient and kind.  Love is not just giving but being able to receive.  If we become separate states clearly divided either from others or just ourselves then how can we receive.  People always talk about giving yourself but how many realize  that the two way street is receiving.  You give to get but if you don't get you can't keep giving.  A lot of people keep a situation going even when they aren't receiving- Why!  Then some of us just run to avoid receiving- Why! If you can't love yourself enough to honestly allow yourself to be treasured then be willing to sop lying.  Do everyone a favor and step away long enough to care- care about you.  You can't give or receive properly if you don't love you or even recognize when you're not loving you.  

Self concious

Looking too closely we tend to see the rough edges and the imperfections.  If we truly were perfect we would never need to think twice about a decision. Giving something a second thought only means you thought it might  not be right.  Thinking that something might not be right means it can be wrong.  Are we meant to be right all the time every time. Many of us want to be right as much as possible but what do we really gain from being right.  Being wrong doesn't make you a fool it just means you are not aware.  Correction is simply pointing out what is wrong with something.  I used to live on the concept that Ignorance was Bliss.  I have since given up this false notion and now understand why thing are better when paired up with truth rather than our egotistical desires to be right more so than not.  Will you lose you for being wrong.  Will being wrong do anything than maybe hurt your pride.  Is your total sum, your true value, worth only your pride.  Let it go and let it flow.  It takes but a moment to let yourself register your wrong and keep it moving.  Though when we hold on to the wrong we actually hurt more and it takes more to actually just except or even see ourselves as being a little wrong.  Why fill your hand with dirt when you could have something more unsubstantial the truth. 

Turmeric- Discovery

Looking down the rack of spices I'm thinking pick pick pick.  I selected a spice with a vaguely familiar name but no recollection of scent nor taste.  In the mist of my living room the scent takes me.  Discovery is a beautiful thing when we are brave enough to give it a shot. Sometimes we get into habits and the thought of a bad taste inhibits us.  The truth is a bad taste or scent doesn't last forever.  There is no harm in breaking a routine even if it's just a temporary break.  Who knows the taste or experience might be the best thing that you just can't stop talking about.  They say intelligent people are willing to try new things.  It's also been proven that Millionaires are mostly people who were willing to take risks.  Here's to Discovery! Cheers!!!

People...need...who else but people.

We have the ability to let others in.  Why should we want to in this day and age of individualism.  I know I'm one of those who is all about I want it my way or I can do bad all by myself.  Have you mastered the art of the realistic fake smile.  Do we even remember Whitney Huston's well belted "Don't want to be...All by myself!"  No  man or woman is an Island unto his or her self.  I don't think any of us could run a whole grocery store solo or live everyday without the need for others. Think about it having someone to share help out or even tell the truth to can be a good feeling.  The thing is these days we often wait till we are boiling over to say something.  Catch your feelings while they are small before they grow into a monster that even you don't recognize or have the ability to control.  We all need someone looking over our shoulders not just supportively but correcting when we are wrong.  Let's face it we don't have all the answers, no one dose, but two heads are always better than one.  Be open to letting people in.  Though don't forget that just as you have secrets and things that keep you from perfection so do they.  Be willing to understand and if you can't don't judge for you wouldn't want to be judged.  Not everyone is a permanent fixtures in your life and should be given the ability to fly the coup.  Sometimes you might even need to kick some people out. Though just like an apartment building needs will picked tenants so will you need well picked people around you. 

Rummaging or digging for gold.

When we refer to someone rummaging or digging for gold we most likely have a negative image associated with this kind of thought.  I find that in life we sometimes are digging for gold or rummaging through our affairs.  When something in your life needs ending but you would rather dig, rummage, or footsie around to avoid the truth of the matter which usually is dealing with the reality of the situation.  Many people are very realistic with their day to day life while some are not but every person not matter how good or bad with realism fails to be realistic in all situations.  The question which should follow when ever one discovers that they are merely avoiding dealing should be, Why?  The root to stopping a digging or gold finding expedition is knowing why one even embarked on the task of digging or finding.  The sad part of most people is they lack the ability to be honest with themselves when they are the cause or problem in their situation.  No one wants to admit that they are the reason for their hang up.  So be your own super hero and save the day by dealing with something you've been avoiding.

Why worry?

We tend to spend a good deal of time on thinking and re-thinking our actions when the result is not the expected outcome.  Remember that the time to think is before you act and the only person you can control is yourself. So the outcome of a situation is only partly on you. This means there will always be elements you can't control. Yes it is human nature to want control over situations but let's remember the truth or reality is we don't have access to all the keys and even if we did the control would still create limits. The true enjoyment of life should come when we do our best and give others a chance to do the same. Remembering that just as you get to decide just what and how you do so do others.  Even those involved, connected, or attached to you by circumstance, choice, or situation get to choose.  When we get caught trying to control others to control a situation we act selfishly and in selfishness the person who is guaranteed hurt is always the selfish person. Taking matters into your own hands is just another way of saying you are attempting to control others or simply put you are choosing to be selfish.  So prior to action decide to not be selfish, controlling, and willing to let others have the freedom you have to decide their parts on their own.  You will not need to worry or stress over your actions later cause you will know you didn't act selfishly.

No No It's all Wrong!

Get the feeling that a day just sucks or isn't going your way.  Think again. The outcome of a day is based on your out look or simply what your thinking.  This might be familiar or not.  If you ever want to test your self try this.  A day you find that everything seems to be totally off just stop yourself for 30 seconds after discovering it.  In these thirty seconds redirect your mind to focus not on how you intended the day to go but instead start looking for cues as to where the day is taking you.  Be willing to be lead.  The things we learn when we aren't so focused on what we already know are priceless.  Look around and take the day in despite what you might be declaring as failure but instead look beyond.  What did go right and even deeper what do you now appreciate more than you did before.  Every day of your life has a purpose even if you don't have one for it.  Happy discoveries to those willing to give it a shot and to those who don't chalk it up as another sucky day since you enjoy having them, Cheers!

Tired are you?

Tired why wait...grab a .... the add that I love dearly but know in the end that being tired means something that needs me to do more than eat or take an energy drink.  For four years I worked more than very hard.  You could say I became a workaholic. There are more medical and actual reasons why we should not live in endless exhaustion.  Living a life in exhaustion can be thought of, when we look at it for what it is, as self mutilation.  Why such a harsh statement.  If you knowingly continue to hurt yourself in a way that leaves scares and damages your body you are self mutilating.  All things that exhaustion over a prolonged period of life will do.  The irony is it doesn't need to even be years to be harmful.  Some of you are thinking am I a candidate or someone I know, and if you live in America I'm sure you can point out someone who is.  Though overworking one's self has no limitations or restrictions.  My father has always told me that, "too much of anything is bad for you."  As we've all heard life is either a scale or some sort of balancing act in which we have to keep things level.  Like resting and working.  Don't get caught in the hype that exhaustion is something that you can just put aside every time you have a deadline or need more money.  Take the time to look for better solutions to your life that don't cost you your life or that precious money you are working yourself so hard to get.  Just like being a drug addict or any other kind of addiction pushing your body to the limit can become a way of trill seeking.  Maybe your off is the energy drink or even the healthy ways you've learned to regain your energy.  All I'm saying is we were made to sleep and when we don't or don't get enough we hurt ourselves.  It's not even the hurt that is the issue it's what we loose and aren't able to reclaim that is.  What have you lost to either chronic or occasional exhaustion.  Stop life threatening habits before they stop you.

Times are hard.

Is there ever a time or year or decade or even a century that there wasn't someone saying times are hard.  The question is where is your focus and what do you really know about hard.  A difficult life is very relative- as in it looks different for different people.  There will always be someone in a worse state than you.  It would be sad if you weren't capable of imagining a better life than the one you have.  This would be equivalent to not having a dream, goals, or a vision for yourself.  You will always be able to envision better and even harder times.  What am I saying.  Stop looking at what you don't have, could have, and would like to have and focus.  Focus on where you realistically are in life. Then you can in a healthy not beating yourself up way assess where and how you want to get to better.  It's having the steps in the right order.  Cause if you just keep looking at the better and never at where you are you are surely going to hit a wall. Before you look ahead on the road look at what you are stepping on or about to step in.  You'll be happier cause then you won't be mentally concerned about what you actually are stepping on cause you will be dealing with it.  Not just sticking it in some far corner of your brain to reek havoc on your senses, setting off warning lights all over your brain.  So focus and don't get distracted by what's up ahead but do look once in a while so you are prepared.

Self Doubt.....

Self doubt the leading cause of unhappy living and unattainable dreams or even simple goals.  People who believe in themselves achieve.  If you don't believe in yourself then who should.  People trust and rely on what others believe in.  So what makes you think that it's not important to believe in yourself.  Why is it OK to believe others but not yourself.  To have the drive and energy to bring forth a dream to life you need to first have faith in yourself to be able to have faith in the dream.  Looking confident is a matter of acting which we all try at one point or another but believing in yourself takes real courage and faith.  The biggest obstacle most people face is trusting that they won't fail or be humiliated.  The irony is the people they are willing to believe in have failed and  been humiliated some where along their way to being successful or someone others look up to. 'Every dream begins with you....'-I think this is even an add.  The thing is if you dreamed it, thought it was great, and told someone who thought it was great as well as everyone else you've told thinks the same.  Then maybe it's time you believe too.  That you and the idea or ideas you come up with have the potential to be great.  Give it a shot what's the worst that could happen at least you can always know your not a failure.  For anyone who puts there best foot forward and honestly tries can be counted as having lived.

Patience is a Virtue!

If you don't know it already everyone even patient people could always be more patient.  So, imagine someone who has no patience.  Looking at this person's life you will also discover that they make a lot of impulsive decisions.  The idea of sleeping on a decision is not always a favored one cause for some that is a long unwanted sleepless night.  Though the reality is fools rush in.  This is not just a saying but a truth we often don't want to deal with.  So why behave like a fool and if you need it you'll still want it later.  Then again you might after having been patient notice some things you weren't seeing in you rush.  When you walk past a store window in a rush can you see the details of the accessories the manikin has on. Of course not! Though when you either take the time to revisit the window or walk by patiently you will notice everything in that window.  Many people over the past ten years bought a home that they walked quickly over without looking at all the windows or even the legal documents they were signing.  Now most of them lost those homes, gave them up, or are living everyday wishing they could have the decision to make again.  When there are too many pieces, an area your not familiar with, or just not your specialty seek advise preferably from someone who is not in anyway benefiting from this purchase or choice.  No deal is so good it's worth regretting later and if it's gone your not dead it's just gone.

What are the elements of success?(1)

The basic is starting.  If you don't start then you can't possibly succeed.  If you stop at the start you also can't succeed cause you have stopped.  To be successful at something you have to keep doing it.  Actual success takes continuous effort being placed into the thing you intend to succeed in. To keep putting effort into something takes a lot out of anybody involved.  It's like holding your hand out to hold on to something.  At first it's easy.  After a while your hand starts to hurt, even tingle, then you have to decide to switch hands, change positions, shake it off, stop holding, or take a break.  If you take a break you run the risk of not returning.  Remembering  the pain, you'll ask yourself if it's really worth it.  Plus, you'll be nervous now that you do know the pain involved.  We all know that if you just plum let go that you are done and saying good bye to succeeding at that particular thing.  Though switching hands and shaking it off keep you going it will wear on the nerves in the hand. So what am I saying?  True success comes when we realize that, yes there will be pain and inconveniences, but if we keep going, we'll get there.

Inhibitions

We all have them. Honestly I think there should be some but when are they an actual problem?  Tonight I joined a friend in a birthday celebration at the Alhambra Palace. A nice spot I might add.  I witnessed a beautiful thing, a place where everyone came to dance. Yes, there was no groping, ogling, or focusing on bodies as sexual objects.  It was strictly about the dancing.  Such beautiful precise and well calculated dancing.  I on the other hand am a naturalist so much so that when one of my dance partners asked one or two step I didn't even know which I had been doing.  I realized when my second dance partner had to take me to the safe safe zone to deconstruct my dancing to basic that I was out of touch.  There is something to say for social interaction that tells us who we are and has no hiding place.  I realized that when we find ourselves retreating from society it's often really us retreating from ourselves.  For in social interactions we are forced to look at ourselves in an unforgiving mirror that won't hold back.  Step out and see what you will discover.  As for me, I'm off to dance lessons.  

Binding humor

I have been surrounded recently with all things marriage. I'm single so imagine my humor in this. Though the real humor I've found came from one small fact. Many of the Christians who are now married at one time or another spoke of binding their mates. Let me clarify. It seems that most Christians once they seem to be faced with an attraction or mind invasion of someone of the opposite sex immediately bind the attraction. They begin praying against it in fear that it was an attack. It isn't till much frustration at the inability to fend the attack that they finally take the time to ask. The act first ask later. This revelation has truly humored me and has helped me to see how easy it is to see things differently. Mind set is powerful, pay attention to yours.

New Direction

With life you sometimes find out that something isn't working or just doesn't flow for you.  So in the spirit of both I'm adjusting the way this blog runs and might do so again in the future.

Thanks to a friend I realized that I couldn't find joy in life if I kept waiting or isolating myself from it.  I learned that it is healthy to keep a good social life and be active.  This has a different meaning for everyone.  I joined living social since it sounded like something that would require my socializing or encourage it.  So to test it out I bought a movie ticket for $9 that was worth two tickets at anytime of day.  My son was the beneficiary of the second ticket and he loved me much for this move.  Then I bought a $10 gift certificate that was worth $20 for Glunz Winery of course I search their website first.  I took almost three weeks before I could make it there.  During that time I discovered an empty bottle of theirs in my parents pantry that looked familiar but I couldn't remember the taste. So here's where the story get's sweet and the point gets made.

The closest Glunz Winery was in Long Grove.  I read about the charm of the town but didn't know what to expect.  Apparently once in an attempt at a short cut I'd driven through the town and wondered at it.  My GPS kind of left me hanging.  It pointed the spot but when I totally couldn't see the name on any sign or the address on a tiny main street I pulled over to the closest parking after driving up and down. After a look around at some beautiful artistry and finally stopping in a bakery- required self control not to purchase anything- where I received directions.  I found the place as described and purchased the wines from a very friendly lady who taught me that a winter wine is best drunk hot to warm.  Then on the way out I discovered the thing that proved why we need to socialize and be open to new experiences, The Pastry shop.  Why was this so important, simply the previous day I had seen the most exquisite cake on a Better Homes cover that just made me want to eat it.  For the first time ever I spoke to my sister about actually finding a real life version.  So this is why this pastry shop suddenly became a beautiful site and in I went.  So I find that yes the baker who is the brother to the lady in the shop who's mom is consultant and worker in this same shop.  Then this lovely lady and I play out this cake as I describe it and discover that the red berry's along side the blue berries in the picture are actually lingonberry, a berry that IKEA has taught me in their soda selection to be a sweet and em lovely flavor.  Then the glaze becomes a bit tricky cause it did have a slight tint to it in the picture so for a second I confused the basic sugar topping for a cream cheese glaze which we sorted out.  After a phone consultation with her brother via phone due to his filing his taxes it was discovered that a good source for Lingonberries were not available at this time. Of course we decided that when this was no longer the case that they would contact me. Then came the sweetest part of the visit.  Then she told me that she was that way with clothes and that she would find the cheapest look alike to what she liked and then have her tailor alter it to have the perfect clothes.
Now I'm telling you if you don't know.  I am embarking on this journey to bring my clothing designs to life and this woman just gave me the motivation I had been needing.  Just at the start of the trip out to get the wine my free Vista Print business cards I ordered, which lead to my purchase of a completely designed website and the transferring of my already owned web address, had arrived.  This woman was the icing on the cake. I had been going back and forth with the idea of purchasing other peoples clothes to fill my site but in this tiny shop I finally decided that no I didn't need a full site of 80 or 500 clothes I just needed to start and my passion would drive me and others who understood would support till I could make sense to the mass public.  This is how I found joy today.
 I hope this was motivational to you reading, please be willing to take the steps that lead to your joy.

Break Time

There is no harm in taking a break.  Just as long as it is just a break.  A break is meant to refresh and reorganize the exhausted or over worked.  A break is meant to be a time of productive rejuvenation.  Resting is productive when it serves a needed purpose.  It is not however a way of avoiding or keeping from completing tasks that feel tiresome.  Don't run away from your life and obligations.  Yes take time when you need it but don't abuse it and keep within a considerable time.  Yes everyone in America would love an hour lunch break but not everyone's work schedules have room for it.  Keep this in mind when you are contemplating abusing your use of time by overstaying or over using a rest or break time.  Abuse or miss use of your time leads to waste.  Just like mothers eat their kids left overs to keep from waisting the food.  Waist never moves you forward but slows or deters forward movement in life.  So when next you think of being lazy ask your self if it's worth the loss to self or cost to self.  Choose wisely.

Feel Sick

Do you ever just get sick and tired of everything.  When this happens do you shut down and mope or work harder.  I've found that nothing other than feeling sad for yourself gets accomplished.  If your life feels like it's not moving or moving too slow then think about how you are spending your down time.  A good time to re purpose is your times of feeling sick and tired. What aren't you sick and tired of and would be willing to keep doing despite your negative attitude and feelings towards your success.  Yes that is what sick and tired is.  It's when you are tired of progression that is either slow or not showing results fast enough.  We have a tendency to feel that all result should be visible within our own expectation of time.  But what is result and where is it coming from. Do you ever get the feeling that what you expect to be the results of your hard works are not the real results.  Have you ever thought that your idea and expectations of what you should be getting might be wrong. What is the true value of your hard work and what is it really meant to produce as an out come of your labors. So this is one of many ways to spend your sick and tired of everything moment doing.  Instead of being negative open your thoughts and mind to new thinking.

Sharing is Caring

When we hear from or read about someone who has or is going through a similar situation it's often helpful. So feel free to add your life scars born on your race or journey through out your life.  You never know who you could help just by making a simple statement in an article or blog there by creating a visual of what really has affected or happened to you.  So feel free to comment or share.  Let's light up, uplift, and change the world together one person at a time.

wishing and wanting

Find yourself wishing and wanting.  Why not tell someone?  When you tell someone that is one step closer to it being real.  It's no longer a thing solely for your imagination.  Who knows they might have the ideas that lead to having and end the wishing and wanting.  Sometimes they point out something you didn't notice before or they simply ask you about the progress of it and even that could finally give you the push to get the ball rolling, if it were still not in motion.  Even hearing the idea out loud while you say it to them could help you fine tune the idea shedding all the excess parts.
If you don't feel comfortable saying it to someone right away try writing it down.  Sometimes when we write it down we can come back and look at it or even build on the idea with strategies and road maps of how to get to the having.  So stop wishing and wanting what you want most but make a step towards having today.

Happy?

Have you ever asked yourself honestly if you were happy? I know that I learn differently but most importantly I like new ways to learn.  Here is a quiz on what you really know about happiness.  I'm recommending it cause it brings out different perspectives on happiness. I'm sure you'll begin to see happiness in a new light.     http://www.webmd.com/balance/happiness-rm-quiz?ecd=wnl_wmh_030911

Happy?

Have you ever asked yourself honestly if you were happy? I know that I learn differently but most importantly I like new ways to learn.  Here is a quiz on what you really know about happiness.  I'm recommending it cause it brings out different perspectives on happiness. I'm sure the thought of are you happy will not quite mean the same.     http://www.webmd.com/balance/happiness-rm-quiz?ecd=wnl_wmh_030911

Motion activation- Motivation

Just like misery loves company so dose motivation.  Can't find any then give some! To get the kind of motivation that takes you the distance you sometimes need to given some.  Give a little get a little. What dose it mean to give motivation?  Why what kind of motivation do you need, the people around you need, or are there any situations where you can motivate others? [ Remember that this is to be a form of selfless giving and you should not equate your giving to an estimated out come.  You should understand that you are just enacting a basic life principle that pays back in an unmeasurable but guaranteed yield return.]  There is some kind of rush that comes from actually making someone feel better it only has positive results.  The best solutions to problems are free and  don't take anything but your effort. 

Stress

The road we all travel on in life leads to stress at one point or another but for some stress is the unwanted passenger.  Be it for long hauls or just quick trips stress shouldn't be able to dictate the radio station if you are driving nor should it decide where you have to stop at for rests.  It's your car and your driving so pick the radio station and where you choose to rest along this journey we call life.
How is it that people give stress the ability to dictate their lives.  When you start allowing the focus of everything in your life to be about the things that aren't working, you can't afford, or just don't want to do but have decided to do then stress is choosing the radio station and where you stop.  Getting control of your car takes you making some decisions as to what your focus needs to be and defining your limits.  Stress is defined as what you feel when you have to handle more than you are used to, feeling worn out. Key things to know and stick to: 1) What's important  2) What can't you  avoid doing   3) Timelines  4) What doesn't need doing.  If you still feel everything needs doing remember this if you are stressed now your body is coming close to it's limits so decide whether or not it's worth physical damage or physical discomfort to your body. No pain no gain! But How much pain and how much gain?

Learning to simply enjoy yourself despite your situation and circumstances

The one thing I can control is my attitude and how I react to things.  This to most people seems so little.  In a world that advocates more control this is seen to some as a joke.  Though one thing I have learned in this life is the simple and the least meaningful are actually the most important and the most meaningful.  Smiling at someone though simple and almost insignificant can do so much more than paying that person to care.  Simply put you get more out of the things that required little effort and more care. 

 How we care is a form of attitude adjustment.  No one single human being is perfect not even the ones we look up to or picture ourselves looking like if we were perfect.  Not even your parents got much right raising you and if they did a good job, it's cause they were able to get you to understand that they cared.  So when you just want to yell out in anger or have a good rage stop and think.  What if I were happy instead.  Just be willing to think it and know that it will change the way you react to the things around you.  A few weeks a ago I was told at a mechanics shop that my pleasant cheerfulness was appreciated.  Why was this important?  The man who said this had just finished dealing with a man that he described as so depressing to be around that he didn't understand how his wife could deal with him and felt sorry that the woman had to suffer such a man. That the man's mere presence brought sadness.  I'm not saying become a ray of sunshine but please don't be this man even on an off day.  

Miete's Tears of Joy: Acting on an idea

Miete's Tears of Joy: Acting on an idea: "Count with me how many ideas you haven't yet done anything with. If there are more than five please tell me none of those is something..."

Acting on an idea

Count with me how many ideas you haven't yet done anything with.  If there are more than five please tell me none of those is something you really want to do.  If it is, please do something even if it's something as simple as a note to encourage you to do it, do something about that idea today.  Can you just imagine if five people you know created at least five ideas they've shared with you, that even you agreed were good ones, how much more comfortable life might just be.  Sometimes an idea is just doing something for someone else.  We never know how far an idea can take us till we just take that first step.  After all your not five and your ice cream didn't just fall after your first lick and if it did wasn't it at least worth that one lick you got out of it.  Try! If not for you do it for someone else. Just in case there's no one to tell you- Thank you for trying!