Out of Sight

Nothing like having your eye do things you don't expect it to do to cause one to freak out. From feeling granules of sand in my eye. Then swelling and redness. The icing on the cake was the discharge and drainage that ran into a runny nose. With a doctor's visit leading to a rushed to the er situation. Finally being told it was an olcer caused by wearing contacts. So guess who can't get to wake up Seeing 20/20 vision 24hrs a day. Life with contacts can't be compared to Life with glasses. There are just too many differences. I am grateful to be able to see but it hurts to lose the ease at which I had grown accustomed to.

Hear Him out: Jesse William's BET acceptance speech.

I am not an activist but this is one speech the whole world should hear. When they said Jesse Williams was getting a humanitarian award I thought but he's too young and what has he done enough to merit it. Then came the acceptance speech and in my eyes he declared that it was more than warranted it was necessary that he should be allowed to speak as well as be recognized. I do not need to speak further, just watch the video.

http://www.bet.com/video/betawards/2016/acceptance-speeches/jesse-williams-receives-humanitarian-award.html 

Overthinking 101

Finding that I overthink while completing a test or task; so much so that I complicate a task that if I did half distracted I would do even better and faster. I feel sometimes that my desire to be a perfectionist is more a hindrance than a help. Though I am starting to learn that our strengths have a proper place and time. When they are used outside of their correct parameters they become hindrances instead of values. The real challenge in life is learning to balance. My brothers once compared life to a juggling act where you have to keep tossing stuff up to get to the other stuff you are juggling without dropping anything while you continue this process.

I am also learning that to help unravel why one behaves a certain way you have to look at the motive. For every behavioral pattern, there is a mental thought process that has cleared that behavior to be the most practical response to the presented scenario in which you are facing.

When digging at the root of why I overthink, I have often found that I seek to excel at the task at hand. So in my case overthinking is my solution for a fear of failure or simply my way of wanting to do my best best.

Now do I have to overthink to be at my best? Of course not! As I stated earlier I also noticed then when I was not fully concentrating on the task at hand I often did better and faster. Further proving that the overthinking was a negative reaction to Fear. Obviously, something that deserved to be dealt with. So some people would ignore such patterns or simply do nothing with this information. I want to be the best me I can be. So again I visit my battle against fear and it's access to my behavioral patterns in an attempt to avoid detrimental life-limiting behaviors. I hope you will too.

*Be Bold and Be Brave, or if you are a Trekkie, 'Boldly go where no one has gone before' or your fear room, within your mind palace.(Sherlock Holmes)

Be U!!

Don't be afraid to be you. 

Don't stand from behind and peep over shoulders. 

Don't hold on to hands so tightly you can't let go.

Go on ahead and give yourself permission to be you. 

Stand and stand up for your own ideas, you are worth it!

Value your own opinion because it is of value.

You are worthwhile.

You should love you cause after all you define your own beauty.

Beautiful you, wonderful you, wonderfully and awesomely made you.

Go forth and be you.

The Art of planning

The art of planning is simply the ability to imagine a host of scenarios. Plan A is the plan you are hoping to run with. It's the one that happens in a perfect world. When Plan A gets to be executed then you are on cloud nine where you feel as though the world loves you and you can do no harm. When you make it to Plan B, usually some portion of Plan A has not occurred or you've just missed the mark in a crucial step that keeps a plan A from being successful. So if you are anything like me you have plan C, D, E, and sometimes even and F.

 If anything, I've learned in this world is a plan can be the best thing in the world. Then there are those times when a plan is just simply a curse from a magical kingdom, just trying to build your imagination of possible horrors that are so far out of control or reach. Simply put the Art of planning is knowing when you need one and what type of plan you need. If you are an off the road type of person then you probably say who needs a plan just go. That is the irony of life, not planning is still a plan. Cause somewhere in the recess of your brain you've envisioned some sort of outcome or gain.

Though the truth in life is those who find some element of their plan, whether concrete or abstract and focus as with a mad man like intensity eventually find success, as long as they don't give up. So a good plan will have an element that you can focus on no matter how distracting your environment, You or the people around you become. Yes, You. You are a distraction to your own self. The difference between someone who keeps going and someone who gives up along the way is You. Not letting You become a distraction to the decided focal point of your life plan is the essential element to any success. Rember that focusing like a mad man on one element for sometimes even years can have anyone doubting themselves to be sane. But to have a mad man like focus it takes some sort of insanity. The truth of life is balance or as my Dad says too much of anything is bad for you. So know that your success might be determined by your willingness to be a certifiable nut for a period of time. How ok are you with that notion. See that's how You hinder You.  'Bend like the grass so you do not break'- Nectar in a Sieve by Kamala Markandaya

Be Better not Bitter

Today I woke to a series of events that most people would end up giving up on that day or consider dubbing it a bad day. I live an unusual life that comes with above average sized challenges and issues. For me I have learned to not dwell on what's not but what is. What is still possible or doable. Sometimes I have to do a total mind shift or think way outside the box. Sometimes even that and several plans after fail, then out of the burned ash of that comes the glory of it all. The solution to all that went wrong or just a jem that makes for a valuable trophy(badge of honor, proof that you survived). Life can often easily overwhelm or get out of control(as we imagine it). To keep a garden well kept it requires constant upkeep. The irony is the wrong pest and even a well manicured garden becomes well arranged dead plants. This doesn't mean the garden is lost for ever, it just needs work. Such is life, so keep keeping, you're not dead yet.

I'm a mess

I am a mess. My life is messy and even my personality is messy, in that I don't fit into any norms. I just don't follow the lines that outline the way to live. I don't want to drive a flashy car, but if you asked me the car I think of as beauty (Arousal status), I would say an Audi A4. Yet the idea of coveting is not one I would even want to lean on. I have learned something so profound I just feel the need to share. It's simple! I have learned that even at my messiest life moments that beautiful things happen and if you are too busy feeling bad about being a mess you won't even appreciate, notice, or take the moment to enjoy them. For what is a life worth living that doesn't even enjoy the enjoyable moments. 
Even at times when others would consider your life a mess if you remember to not focus on the negative, you will actually notice that amazing things happen to people in messy situations.