Just finished watching 'Divorce Invitation' courtesy my Netflix subscription. I'd been avoiding this movie but it kept popping up on my suggestions. I couldn't help thinking how ludicrous and crass could people be to make such a movie (all based on the title). For the longest I've been in love with the romantic Cinderella side of marriage.(Can you tell I've never been married.) The thing is I was very close once. He was mad about me and I genuinely loved him. Yes I said that aloud. I never told him though that I loved him but he told and showed me in many ways. I even invited him to Thanksgiving. By the way I don't invite people to Thanksgiving. Even my son's father only got an invite when I needed to manipulate him to be able to have my cake and eat it too (having my kid for the Holiday and making my kid happy that he didn't have to choose.) So you see I really was into this guy. Now I know you want to know what was wrong with him. Nothing real. Yes I repeat, Nothing real. He bought the perfect house in a great neighborhood well below market value and it was more than affordable. The house had five bedrooms all on one floor and every room was spacious, with two and a half baths. There were even two living rooms one with a fireplace that opened up to a porch with a beautiful garden and the other with a Bay window. The kitchen opened up to a deck. The backyard faced homes full of children I could only imagine how our kids would all play together and we would be the best of neighbors. One day while cooking in the kitchen while he worked on the yard I knew I could just see it. Only the next day as we drove out of the garage with my son in the back seat, all I could think is man the neighbors can see it too as a neighbor waved us goodbye, the perfect couple. The problem was it didn't feel perfect. Something felt wrong. Leave it to me to be paranoid. I've always believed if I didn't feel perfect about something then it wasn't right for me. (Now please note that as I've live more life since then I'm not sure that I'm correct or even sane for thinking this but hey, I'll let you know when I've lived more life.) So I did the only right thing. I told him and ended it. Only he wouldn't let me and he just kept trying to convince me we could work it out. Now I'm as stubborn as women come, once I make up my mind and I feel free of what was burdening me, I will fight tooth and nail to remain free. So that was that, so I thought. I moved to the City and forgot this choice. As I was leaving I comforted myself with this rumor I heard that he was engaged and though it hurt, I thought good for him. So years later I returned from the City full of scars, life changing lessons, and a better understanding of what's really important in life- relationships and how we treat people. So I found a way to check up on him and his first words in a public setting to me were, 'There's the woman who ruined my chances for a happy marriage.'. Oh did I want to run and shrink into nothing. I quickly high tailed it out of there and spent the next two years being cordial when I ran into him and avoiding him when I could. Then I found the perfect church and the perfect section. I got comfortable and even though I knew I would be moving soon, (really was just hoping at that point) I was in a great place. Then one day as I exited the auditorium I walked right into him. Him and his friends kindly informed me that this had been their section for a long time, longer than me. Now you're wondering how I didn't see them. Well I sit in the front by the two story drop while they sit in the back to avoid the somewhat scary view of the drop to ground level. I always rushed in and out as I never had anyone in that section but that day I was killing time, cause my son had asked that I give him time to play after his service. Ouch! I had a choice. As I've always believed there are some things that happen for a reason. So I kept going to my section, only when he asked if I join him and his friends, I decided against it. So what's the big deal why the whole story. One day I run into him again and this time he tells me his situation and how he, of course, still loves me. For the first time in our lives I (Ha Ha, you thought I would say I told him I love him- Ha! Yah! That would be home wrecking 101.) broke down and let him help me regain my composure. After which I insisted we make an appointment to talk. So after hearing him out I realize it would be home wrecking if I even let him or I entertain this idea and was really glad I didn't tell him how I felt. I did tell him that if he had wanted me so much he should have waited and he would have had me. No, I didn't make a mistake all those years. So the big deal with the movie was I realized that A. I did the right thing not entertaining the idea and B. Marriage is romantic because people make the effort to make it so. Marriage isn't about picking the right person (even though I still think it helps to at least pick a match that you are attracted to and totally dig), it's about sticking with it (This is why the dig part matters-you need motivation), NO MATTER WHAT, til death do you part.
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