My Dream of how I think things should be.

Experience teaches us what we just don't KNOW!!!'- Soki Emmanuel Dokubo
This post is totally without any hesitation a root off the Post above- Please click it and read it first(It is very much worth your while) You might also want to follow the Group WISDOM FOR LIFE on Facebook.








If any of us knew everything then ooh wee, we'd be King in the Land of the One eyed blind. Just simply saying it would be the golden key of all keys.


Your story is your experience and what it holds is great. The stories of people become history. The secrets to ones success is in your story.

The Dreamer vs. The Realist

Now don't get me wrong I'm definitely not one to condone the absence of dreaming or being a dreamer. It's just someone I know well kept accusing me of being a Dreamer. I at the time assumed it to be an insult.

In life you have to dream to get somewhere. The idea usually comes before the act. Dreaming is the idea of what could be that is essential to feeling the sense of accomplishment that comes hand in hand with having achieved a goal (a.k.a success).

Now as nice as all of that is, the truth is, 'actions speak louder than words'. So a dream without action = dead hope. Also known as the field of dreams, where dreams go to die. If you never act on or follow through on an idea it will always be just that, a dream. A dreamer is someone who only dreams. When you act on your dreams the realities of your limitations and true situation become clear then guess who just found reality.

Now none of these is new ( at least to me). What has been changing but recently became clear to me is the massive importance of slow and many actions versus rigidly sticking to the vision.  No doubt the goal is to accomplish the vision ( the Grand Puba- aka The Big Idea- your Dream). Though if you've never succeeded or haven't even started yet don't hurt yourself, just know that you have to start taking step. The speed is never the point. Just that you are moving and looking for holes or ways to sidestep walls you find in the way.

The part where reality vs. the Dream comes to play is when you are so focused on the dream you aren't seeing that you are limiting your progress and closing the door to opportunities that are advantageous and beneficial. What haven't you done or what aren't you doing to make it happen. What could you be doing that you aren't. Gut wrenching and honest assessment the use of which is the difference between Dreamer and Realist. Though a gut wrenching that wasn't implemented still makes for a Dreamer(me).

There's no running from heart breaks.

If you live in this world long enough. Someone is bound to break your heart. Step on it or just flat out disappoint you. At which point you will without fail experience pain. The kind of pain that, even though it had nothing to do with you hurting any part of your body, you'll ache physically. Running from the pain or attempts to avoid feeling the full force should be cautioned against. Pain has a place and purpose in everyones life. Having pain of an emotional nature should never be something you fear. It should be something you embrace.

'I haven't gone mad!' 

I've learned that positive things can emerge from what can be considered a negative. Plus if you don't let yourself get a chance to feel, realize, and get over the pain it will be there still. It might not be visible to others but it won't heal. A wound only heals with time and care.

Imagine it... me the creme de la creme.

I'm crying on the inside. I think it might just spill to the outside soon enough. I can't take it anymore.

There is nothing wrong with who I am. I'm a beautiful woman who has realistic goals and a bright future. If I can stay focused on me and my child. If the dream to not be alone doesn't drive me nuts then another form of distraction usually with two legs will.

 It should not be a crime that I want to meet someone who isn't intimidated by me. Someone who doesn't want to change me. Someone who isn't afraid of relationships due to baggage. Someone who isn't going to freak out along the way. Someone who isn't in an awkward situation already.

And no! I want it to happen naturally. I also want him to be honest and open minded. I don't want to be lied to. I don't want to dictate I just want to be compatible. I do want however to be the focal point. The creme de la creme. I want to be the cherry on top. Sought after for not just the appeal but for the value I bring to things. Shouldn't life be so sweet.

The sacrifices that impact many.

The things we give up so that others might have life. It is the plight of man and more and more so for women in this modern world. The idea of giving up something or changing course so that someone else can do have or achieve while you patiently wait to do or just sit by and support can be painful. Though what most people never fully grasp is how much more meaningful and important that act can be, than the many options they pictured. Sacrifice is an act of love that can cost anything as simple as lost time and then as total as your life. The greatest one I can describe would be the idea that Jesus gave his life for the sake of individuals. While that idea is the extreme of sacrifice. There is the more relatable example of the stay at home mom, or the mom who forgoes sleep to care for a child. Now the sacrifices the mother makes are often thought of as requirements of motherhood in reality it's a conscious choice that a woman makes. The cost of putting yourself after someone elses needs is well rewarded when in the end they get somewhere even you can be proud of. 

In the book, The Promise of a Pencil: How an Ordinary Person Can Create Extraordinary Change, Adam Braun points out the moment he gets to help his grandma see just one of the ways that her sacrifices to stay alive in Auschwitz and later her choices as a mother and now grandmother have payed off. It is beautiful to see one's impact on the life of one and how it later influences other peoples lives. It just further proves that sacrifice for others has a reward far greater than one can ever imagine.

So be a stay at home mother or a friend who just gets that your life, time, and efforts are worthwhile when used for someone else even when you could be doing you instead. So on those mundane moments when you pause and think, 'This isn't even for me, why am I bothering myself like this". Just keep in mind the life you are changing or helping and know that they will touch and affect many, just by your one or many acts to help out and being there.
If no one has told you already, 'Keep up the good work.'